breaking up is hard to do

it's not what you think. i haven't broken up with anyone..(well..there's no one to break up with anyway!lol)
i was tinkering with my friendster blogs to find interesting stuff to put in my "getting to know you journal" (c/o venus) and i read this post i made a couple of years back.

it was dated april 24, 2005
to be honest..i don't really remember this..but this was before i went to CCA. so i know who i was sorta talking about. enjoy!;)

i read this article in candy mag, about one persons realization how hard a break up can be.

i can totally relate what he said. that everything seems to remind you of that person. every song seems to hit you like a stake in the heart. you just wanna cry every time you see the things he gave you, the pictures and the letters. you just smile every time you remember the moments that you've shared. Good thing you have friends to be there for you(aside from your cigs and booze). to catch your back, to hold your hand, to laugh at you when your mascara ran because of your tears and you just look like a monster. they're there to tell you that every thing's OK, you'll find someone better or its not yet the time for you guys to be together.

i believe that i am meant for someone. i know he's out there somewhere, and i lift everything up to GOD. I've had my heart broken into pieces so small you can't see it with the naked eye. now, i am trusting God and my friends more instead of just jumping into the water by myself.

and besides, why mope around and be depressed when there is so much in this world to experience? a lifetime is not enough to witness what the whole world is to offer, why would you waste a day on just sulking? live for today, cherish the past and just fantasize about the future. God has His way of introducing to us the one we'll be with. it's just for us to decide.

contentment.happiness.wellness.understanding.open-mind.respect.honesty.

take a bow

How bout a round of applause?
Standin ovation...
Ooooh
Yeah yeah yeah yeah

You look so dumb right now
Standin' outside my house
Tryin' to apologize
You're so ugly when you cry
(Please)
Just cut it out

Don't tell me you're sorry cuz you're not
Baby when I know you're only sorry you got caught

But you put on quite a show
You really had me goin'
But now it's time to go
Curtains finally closin'
That was quite a show
Very entertainin'
But it's over now
Go on and take a bow

Grab your clothes and get gone
(You better hurry up)
Before the sprinklers come on
Talkin' bout "Girl, I love you you're the one..."
This just looks like a re-run
(Please)
What else is on?

And don't tell me you're sorry cuz you're not
Baby when I know you're only sorry you got caught

But you put on quite a show
You really had me goin'
But now it's time to go
Curtains finally closin'
That was quite a show
Very entertainin'
But it's over now
Go on and take a bow

And the award for the best liar goes to you
For makin' me believe
That you could be
Faithful to me
Let's hear your speech
oh...

How bout a round of applause?
Standin' ovation...

But you put on quite a show
You really had me goin'
But now it's time to go
Curtains finally closin'
That was quite a show
Very entertainin'
But it's over now
Go on and take a bow

But it's over now...

the best night with my best friends

may 24, 2008
1:50 am

it has been a rollercoaster of emotions for me today.
tired, sad, mad, disappointed, scared, anxious, pissed, but all those things drifted away when i had dinner with 6 of my closest, longest and dearest friends.

the original plan was..i have to cook dinner for them. thanking all of them for the support and to hangout here at home. to reminisce and make the most of the last couple of weekends that we could have dinner here. but something came up and i just wanted to treat them out to dinner.

i was supposed to write a detailed blog on how it went..
i've actually made it half way..but it won't really express how happy i was to spend a couple of hours with these people...
we had it at Trellis Kalayaan on a Rainy Saturday Night. We were there at 8.
The place almost closed on us. We left at around 1 am, although we didn't really want to.
we just had to. we filled our table with laughter and stories. antics and advices.

i was able to reminisce with my grade school friends and highschool friends. it was the first time i got my grade school and high school friends at the same table...i never had a doubt in my mind that they would click.

that dinner..made my day, week, month, year...it was really the best night with my best friends!

berns, chio, dg, mich, jophi, k10 & venus...thanks for making it really really fun! loveyah guys for that and alot more!;)

destiny?! it sure was!=)

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let's give them something to talk about

Let's Give 'Em Something to Talk About!

Have your parents ever caught you drinking? they ddidnt have to..they knew that i was
Do you love the last boy/girl you were talking to? hhmm..as friends yes
Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? probably so
What were you doing 30 minutes ago? fixing things in my room
Honestly, who was the last person to tell you that they love you? he knows who he is
Last restaurant you went to? mcdonald's
Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? jr
Did you have an exciting last weekend? yes very much
Have you ever crawled through a window? yep..a couple of times
What do you spend most of your money on? gas
Where were you at 1AM sunday morning? here at home
Ever kissed someone over 30? nah
Is there a secret you've never told your parents? alot
Do you like yourself? at times yes!lol
Have you ever dyed your hair? nah
Are you wearing a necklace? nope
Who is someone you wish you could fix things with? i've been having this question for days
Is there anything in your past that you'd like to try again? rapelling
Are you an emotional person? very much
What's something that can always make you feel better? ice cream and cigs
Did your parents spoil you as a child? a bit yes
Do you still have pictures of you & your ex? hahaha!!lol yes
How's your heart lately? beating
Are you a cuddler? very much
Will this weekend be a good one? very nice
What do you want rightn ow? a friggin cold beer
Who can always cheer you up? my closest friends
Have you ever gone nude/streaked in public? no..that won't be a good sight
Who hugged you last? my cousin
Have you ever worn the opposite sex's clothing? yes
Are you a kissable person? maybe!;)
Has someone ever spread a nasty rumor about you? yes
What is your relationship status? single as can be
Who was the last person to come to your house? venus and jophi
Look behind you, what do you see? a wall
How many rooms does your house have? 10...
Have you ever worked in a food place? oh yes!!
What would you name your future daughter? maria christianna
Who and where was the last concert you went to? i dunno...
Any summer plans for 2008? went to puerto galera already
What did you eat for lunch today? fish
Whats on your schedule for tomorrow? continue fixing the house
The last song you heard? almost over you
What do you think of love? its very much simple yet complicated
When is the last time you went to a party? a couple of weeks ago
When is the next time you'll hit up a club? probably soon
Do you still talk to any of your ex's? oh yes..
If you had to eat 1 thing for the rest of your life, what? potatoes
Name 1 thing good about Myspace? i dont have myspace
Does anyone know your Myspace password? ...
Have you dated anyone on your top 4? nah
Has your number 2 on your friends ever made you cry? oh yes...
How do you feel about abortions? its baaddd
Do you eat junk food everyday? i dont know why..but yes
How often do you drive? everyday..official driver
Where did you last drive to? makati
Describe your bestfriend? all of them have bits and pieces of me
Who was the last person to touch you? ...
How did you and your number 1 become friends? we were classmates in UST
How late did you stay up last night and why? 6 am..was msn msging with dave
What's the connection between you and the last person you texted? she's my kumare
Do you like someone? yes
Have you ever been hit by the opposite sex? yes
Have you ever kissed someone whose name started with an S? hahah!!lol!yes
How's your life lately? nice
Do you know anyone that is currently locked up? yup
Have you ever dated someone longer than a year? yep..a year and a half
What do you think about the current gas prices? too much
Would you sex tape with you in it for 3 million dollars? no..even if am paid with all the money in the world
Have you ever been so drunk that you blacked out? umm..not totally
Do you think that you’re a good person? generally
Have you ever loved someone so much that it hurt? a couple of times
Are you happier single or in a relationship? there's a different kind of happiness for both
Have you ever flirted with a friends crush? hahah!!:)) no..but i know someone who does that!;)
Last time you ate a homegrown tomato? i havent in awhile
Ever ordered from an infomercial? yes!can you say.."silhouette kwarenta"?
Do you believe in love at first sight? nah
Have you ever requested a song on the radio? yes..i used to
Do you hate the last girl you were talking to? no
When is the last time you took a nap? a couple of hours ago
Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? jr
To text you? dennis
To send you a myspace message? (friendster)tim
To send a friend request? i dunno
Whose bed did you sleep in last night? mine
Have you kissed anyone in the last week? =*
Do you miss anyone? very much
What does your 8th text message say and who was it from? "do you have work today" from mike
What are you listening to? people chattering
Is there one place you'd like to visit? ibiza
Have you held hands with anyone today? nah
Do you like winter time? probably so
Do you own uggs? nope
Do you regret anything? nah
What are you excited about? the dinner on sat
Plans for today? fix my room
Seven days from now will you be in a relationship? hhmm..i cant answer that
What are you doing tomorrow? fix some stuff again
How many different people of the opposite sex have you cried over? 8
Where is your number one person on your friends list? at work
Do you want to dance? yes..i love to
Last movie you watched? iron man
What are your plans for the weekend? dinner
What do you notice first about a guy? shoulders
Something interesting happen lately? some questions were answered
Where is the person you like right now? i dunno..probably at home
Last time you took a shower? a couple of hours ago
What were you doing at 8:00 this morning? watching gone in 60 seconds
What were you doing 30 minutes ago? fixing things for my garage sale
When was the last time you talked to your most recent ex? sunday..he ym-ed me
Have you ever been around someone who was high? hell yes
Do you like where you live? i love it here..
Last thing you purchased? cigs
Have you kissed your number one on your top? nah..haha!:)lol
Where are you right now, and how do you feel about where you are? am in the kitchen..i love hanging here
Explain why you last threw up? drunk
Where did your last hug take place? here at home
Who was the last person to hold your hand? hhmm...him
Are you a jealous person? sometimes
Did you have a good birthday this year? my birthday is not till november
Are you tired right now? some kind of
What are your outlooks on gay/bisexual relationships? as long as theyre happy
Do you chew on your straws? yes..hehe
Who was the last person you rode in the car with that was under 21? umm..mcsan i think
Three days from now will you be in a relationship? i dunno...it depends
Do you have curly hair? nah..straight
Who was at your house last? jophi and venus
Do you lead people on? hell no
Is there anyone who doesn't like you because of something you didn't do? oh yess!!
Have you kissed anyone today? nah
Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight? ive been awake 72 hours straight before
Last person you cried over? ...
Do you cry easily? yes
Do you have any brothers? one
What do you think of them? am scared of him
Where did you go today? here at home
What should you be doing right now? writing
Are you a heavy sleeper? hell no
When was the last time you hand washed the dishes? a couple of days back
Name everyone that made you smile today? none yet
Who was the last person to put their arm around you? venus
Three feelings at the moment? scared.bored.sad
What are you listening to right now? koko krunch commercial
The highlight of your week? satuday
Who were the last people you ate with? my sister
What really makes you mad? liars
Ever had a drunken night in Mexico? i want one
What are your plans for tonight? fix my room
What does the seventeenth text message in your inbox say? i just erased my inbox
What's the last piercing you got? ears
Ever toilet papered someone’s house? nah..i'll do that soon
Do you want to be married right now? not yet
What were you doing at 4am this morning? msn msging with dave
What do you usually do first in the morning? check my phone
Do you have college plans? done with college
Are you mad at anyone right now? sorta
How many different beverages have you had today? 2
What did you do today? clean
What is your favorite flavor of jelly? strawberry
Do you want children? yes
What were you doing at 7pm yesterday? sleeping
You're in the hospital, who on your TOP friends would come to visit you? all of them
If alcohol were banned, what would your reaction be? wtf?!
Do people underestimate you? sometimes
Are you named after a grandparent? nah
What's something you're scared of? ghosts
Name some of the people you love? venus.jophi.k10.chich.
What's your favorite color? pink
Ever been kissed under fireworks? nah..i would love that though
Do you wish someone would call you? yes...:(
Is there someone you wanna date right now? very much!!
Are you usually the heart breaker or the heart broken? heartbroken
Is there a meaning behind your profile song? alot..hahah!!:))
Do you have a best friend? yes..quite a few
Do you belive that what comes around goes around? very much yes
Who was the last person you were mad at? secret!;)
What is the last song to make you cry? almost over you
Is your best friend pretty? all my best friends are pretty and handsome
Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom? yes..alot of times
What do you miss? drinking
Do you give out second chances too easily? umm...sadly yes
Ever felt that no one relates to you? there are times
Had plans and broke them? a couple of times
When was the last time you saw your grandparents? my lola..umm..a long time
Who are you jealous of? none at the moment

75 questions

75 Questions You've Probably Never Been Asked

1. First thing you wash in the shower? my feet
2. What color is your favorite hoodie? pink
3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? yes
4.Do you plan outfits? yup a couple of days before
5. How are you feeling RIGHT now? confused
6. Whats the closest thing to you thats red? my shirt
7. Do you say aim or a-i-m? neither
8. Tell me about the last dream you remember having? spending time with someone
9. Did you meet anybody new today? not really
10. What are you craving right now? pork roullade
11. Do you floss? yes
12. What comes to mind when I say cabbage? patch kids
13. When was the last time you talked on aim? this morning
14. Are you emotional? very much
15. Would you dance to the taco song? i dont know what that is
16. Have you ever counted to 1,000? nope..thank God
17. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it? lick it!;)
18. Do you like your hair? very much
19. Do you like yourself? hhmm...sometimes!hahaha
20. Have you ever met a celebrity? yes
21. Do you like cottage cheese? very much
22. What are you listening to right now? people talking
23. How many countries have you visited? 2
24. Are your parents strict? sometimes
25. Would you go sky diving? yes!:)
26. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush? why not?!
27. Would you throw potatoes at him? no i wont..probably rotten tomatoes
28. Is there anything sparkly in the room you’re in? my bag
29. Have you ever been in a castle? yes
30. Do you rent movies often? nah..
31. Who sits in behind you in your math class? i dont really remember
32. Have you made a prank phone call? yes before
33. Do you own a gun? used to
34. Can you count backwards from 74? no
35. Who are you going to be with tonight? my family
36. Brown or white eggs? white
37. Do you own something from Hot Topic? nah
38. Ever been on a train? yes..a couple of times
39. Ever been in love? yes a couple of times
40. Do you have a cell-phone? yes
41. Are you too forgiving? too is the exact word
42. Do you use chap stick? yep
43. What is your best friend doing tomorrow? hhmm..i dunno..
44. Can you use chop sticks? oh yes!
45. Ever have cream puffs? i love cream puffs
46. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect? no i haven't
47. What was the last question you asked? wtf is wrong with you?
48. What was the last CD you bought? blank
49. Boys or girls? boys
50. What is your bus number for school? hammer #4
51. Is your hair curly? straight
52. Last time you cried? last night
53. Ever walked into a wall? ..?
54. Do looks matter? not really
55. Have you ever bought anything from Pac Sun? nope..
56. Have you ever slapped someone? yes!hehe!:)
57. Favorite time of the year? summer time
58. Favorite color? pink
59. Are you sarcastic? hell no!!lol
60. Do you have any tattoos? nope
61. The last person you held hands with? what?!next question
62. Do you sleep with the TV on? used to
63. Where was your default picture taken at? puerto galera
64. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people? yes
65. Do you like your life right now? pretty much ok
66. How often do you talk on the phone? everyday
67. What is your favorite animal? cat
68. What was the most recent thing you bought? cigarette
69. Do you have good vision? hell no
70. Can you hula hoop? hahah!:))yes
71. Could you ever forgive a cheater? i did..
72. Do you have a job? kinda
73. Can you handle the truth? nope
74. What are you wearing? shirt and shorts
75. Have you ever crawled through a window? oh yes..

live anyone?

am starting to get tired of ym.
its just that..ym. with its usual emoticons,buzz and what have you.
so i decided to try something new...
windows live.
it's slick, very dynamic and so far so good.
its easier to share files using windows live.faster speed and less hang time.
you could also make custom emoticons or download them. so you won't have to guess whether its a grin or "gigil".
you can still chat with your friends in ym using windows live.
get live.check out http://get.live.com.http://charot.multiply.com/ to enjoy the live experience!
if you have windows live.add me up.
charotism@live.com
see yah!;)

this is eating me up inside

you know the feeling that you're just so annoyed..
but you don't really know what it is?

thats how i feel now, but i exactly know what it is/

i just want to scream and hope that
when i wake up tom..this feeling's gone!

Garage Sale

hey guys!:)
am having a garage sale here sa house ko all the saturday and sundays of MAY from 1pm - 6pm.

we'll be selling an assortment of items.
from clothes, kitchenware, a turntable and so much more.

i might post some of the pictures by tom
so you guys can see it!:)

please text me or leave me a message here if you want to go or for further info.

take care and enjoy the weekend guys!:)

6 Words Women Use

1. FINE - this is the
word women use to
end an argument
when they are right
and you need to shut up.

2. 5 MINUTES - if
she is getting dressed,
this means a half
an a hour.

3. NOTHING - this
is the calm before the
storm, This means
something,and you
should be on your toes.
Arguments that begins
with nothing usually
end in fine.

4. GO AHEAD - this
is a dare not a permission.
Don't do it!

5. LOUD SIGH - this
means she thinks you're
an idiot, and wonders
why she wasting her time
standing here and arguing
with you about nothing.

6. THAT'S OKAY - this means
that she wants to think long and
hard before deciding how and
when you will pay for your mistakes.

when i ate my words

Friday, December 08, 2006

my bad

i still catch myself, looking at his profile...staring at his pictures.
asking myself the "what ifs" and telling myself the "i should'ves".
but i know life would be so different if we didn't go our separate ways.
i wouldn't learn to love myself and appriciate how great i can be.
i wouldn't know how to stand on my own and fight for myself and say what i want to say.

i know that it looks as if am hoping for us to be back together, but i am so done with that. it's just that there are days that you miss the person...but you don't want to be with him.
you're ok with the way things are but you just want to see how things are going for him...
well..honestly..wondering if he also checks your profile and sees what you've accomplished and hope that he's proud of you.

is this bad?what am doing?
i've honestly let go of any hope of anything for us...not even friends.
oohhh well.... he's now just a part of my past... not even a fragment of my future.

------------------------------------------------------------------
i posted this a couple of years back.
i friggin ass ate my words.."he's now just a part of my past... not even a fragment of my future."dammit..he now holds the present.
there's also another line..."i've honestly let go of any hope of anything for us...not even friends."now...we are very good friends...but am still not sure of what the future holds for the two of us.

its not really complicated...we're happy with our friendship and the way things are. we talk about things that we didnt talk about before. its different in a way but at the same time there are alot of similarities.

am kinda back to my old ways though..hhmm...

stargazers

this is a stargazer.
they come from the "Lily" family.
comes in various colors and sizes.

i've always loved stargazers..even before i knew what it was called.
nobody really knew about this because..nobody really knew that i liked flowers.

eversince i was a kid..people have always assumed that i am boyish and so laid back that i hated flowers.
(of course i've never grew a liking for floral prints on dresses especially the ones that has small sunflowers printed on them).

honestly..i've never really received a stargazer before. (a real one at that). sure, i've gotten a couple of them in my facebook account..but other than that none.

not that am ungrateful to those guys who have given me flowers over the years....don't get me wrong.

its just that..nobody even bothered on asking what i wanted...even fished.
if you read my friendster profile carefully..you'll see its there.
(now its just highlighted).

so..not that am pin pointing anyone..
but i hope somebody would give me even a stem of this and it'll absolutely
make my day...=)

PS: i also like tulips...pink, orange or red ones.