wwwwwwwhhhhhhyyyyyyy?????!!!!!

tangina...bakit ganun?

its been 2 fucking weeks..and i can't get this shitty thought off my head.

i haven't had a decent sleep. hindi naman dahil nightmare siya pero 

parang chain dream(kung may ganun)..siya nalang lagi nasa dream ko.

PUTANGINA LANG TALAGA!!!

tangina...ayaw ko na.

bakit ba siya? pwede bang iba nalang???

wish ko lang hindi siya ang soulmate ko kasi GOODLUCK naman to me!!!

i know i've given up on signs pero TAENANG PAKSHET YAN!!!!!

ang dami e!!to the highest level..OVERDRIVE na of signs.

kulang nalang magkaNEON lights pointing towards him e.

i tried to shake it off...make myself busy....think of other things..

pero PUTANGINA walang effect!!!

kung pwede lang umeggroll para mawala to...ginawa ko na!!

siguro nga good move tong new adventure in life ko.

baka eto na ang SOLUSYON sa problema ko.

tae lang talaga..bakit kasi siya pa?! epal lang.

sabay sabay nalang tayong umeggroll!!

who wants to go with me?

gawain mo ba to nung bata ka

got it from maureen's multiply.

i bet..one point or another..nagawa niyo lahat to.

nung ikaw ay bata... nagawa mo ba to?

*kumakain ka ba ng aratilis?

-> oo naman..may puno ng aratilis sa kapitbahay namin e

*nagpipitpit ng gumamela para gawing soapy bubbles
na hihipan mo sa binilog na tanggkay ng walis tingting?

-> soapy bubbles eh?! hehe!:D yep..pero may halong tide na un

*pinipilit ka ba matulog ng nanay mo pag hapon at
di ka papayagan maglaro pag di ka natulog?

-> oo yung lola ko, lalo na pag nasaprobinsya kami.pag tapos ng eat bulaga,tulog na yan or kailangan mo iendure ang aguila or valiente.

*marunong ka magpatintero, saksak puso,
langit-lupa, teleber-teleber, luksong tinik?

-> oo naman...saksak puso tulo ang dugo!i lab yu teleber teleber...

*malupit ka pag meron kang atari, family computer
or nes?

-> meron akong family computer!yung pula ah

*alam mo ang silbi ng up, up, down, down, left,
right, left, right, a, b, a, b, start?

-> CONTRA!! mali nga e..up up down down left right b a b a select start dapat!

*may mga damit ka na U.S.E.D., Boy London , Cross
Colors, Esprit, Blowing Bubbles at pag nakakakita
ka ng Bench na damit eh naalala mo si Richard Gomez?

-> si richard gomez na nagrorowing?hahah!!:D U.S.E.D usually jeans yan!hahaha!:D cross colors pang JIP JAP yan!!:D

*addict ka sa rainbow brite, carebears, my little pony,thundercats,
bioman, maskman, voltes v, mazinger z, daimos, he-man at marami pang cartoons na hindi pa translated sa tagalog?

-> oo naman!! kulang pa yan ng DENVER the last dinosaur tska dinosausers pero mas addict ako kay SHE RA!!!

*nanonood ka ng shaider kasi nabobosohan mo si
annie at type na type mo ang puting panty nya?

-> boom shigi shigi!!

*marunong ka mag wordstar at nakahawak ka na
talaga ng 5.25 na floppy disk?

-> kulang pa yan ng lotus 1,2,3 (excel yan ng sinaunang panahon)

*inaabangan mo lagi ang batibot at akala mo
magkakatuluyan si kuya bodgie at ate sienna...
nung high school ka inaabangan mo lagi beverly
hills 90210?

-> ayaw ko batibot e..batang sesame street ako e.

but of course 90210..diba mich?!meron pa kaming club noon..pero grade school lang ako niyan no!!parang grade 3

*gumagamit ka ng AQUANET para pataasin ang bangs mo?

-> bangs at ang tissed na pony tail!

*meron kang blouse na may padding kung babae ka at
meron kang sapatos na mighty kid kung lalake ka?

-> aba oo..at may mighty kid din ako, pati hoodie ko may padding!!

*nangongolekta ka ng paper stationaries at mahilig
ka magpapirma sa slumbook mo para lang malaman mo
kung sino ang crush ng type mo?

-> hanggang highschool ginagawa namin to!!

*kilala mo si manang bola at ang sitsiritsit
girls?e si luning-ning at luging-ging?

-> oo.kahit hindi ako nanonood masyado ng batibot

*alam mo ibig sabihin ng time space warp at di mo makakalimutan ang
time space warp chant?

-> time space warp!ngayun din!!

*idol mo si McGyver at nanonood kang perfect
strangers?

-> mcguyver..taena..coolness yung mamang yun

*eto malupet... six digits lang ba ang phone
number nyo dati?

-> oo no..ours was 92 something...

*nakakatawag ka pa sa pay phone ng 3 bentesingko
lang ang dala?

-> 3 bente singko lang ang kailangan (by dingdong avanzado..yata)..sa pulang pay phone!hahah!:D

*cute pa si aiza seguerra sa eat bulaga at alam mo
ang song na "eh kasi bata"?

-> oo no..at ang kanyang pato walk!

*inabutan mo ba na ang Magnolia Chocolait eh nasa
glass bottle pa na ginagawang lalagyan ng tubig ng
nanay mo sa ref?

-> ay but of course..ang dami namin noon kasi hindi ako umiinom ng  milk not unless chocolait!

*meron kang pencil case na maraming compartments
na pinagyayabang mo sa mga kaklase mo?

-> oo no..yung akin parang piano!

*noon mo pa hinahanap kung saan ang Goya Fun Factory? -> parang willy wonka and the chocolate factory yun. commercial ng goya yun...hehehe!:D(para sa mga bata)

*alam mo lyrics ng "tinapang bangus" at
"alagang-alaga namin si puti"?

-> batibot din yan e..tinapang bangus - tungkol sa paggawa ng tinapang bangus hanggang sa pagbenta, alagang alaga namin si puti - tungkol sa aso yan.

*alam mo ang kantang "gloria labandera".. lumusong
sha sa tubig ang paa ay nabasa at ang "1, 2, 3,
asawa ni marie"... hehehehehe?

-> hahahha!!:D

*sosyal ka pag may play-doh ka at Lego... at
nag-iipon ka ng G.I. Joe action figures at iba pa
ang mukha ni barbie noon?

-> pero wala pa rin siyang panty!gusto ko dati yung play doh na mcdo!:(

*inabutan mo pa yung singkong korteng bulaklak at
yung diyes na square?

-> oo no..may nakita pa ako dito nung naglipat kami ng bahay.

*lumaki kang bobo dahil ang akala mo nangangagat
talaga ang alimango sa kantang tong-tong-tong...
diba naninipit yun?

-> hindi naman bobo..exagge naman un

*alam mo yung kwento ng pari na binigyan ng pera
yung batang umakyat ng puno para bumili ng
panty... and shempre, alam mo rin ba kung ano
binigay nya sa nanay nung umakyat ng puno?

-> oo...PANGAHIT!!hehehe!:D

*meron kang kabisadong kanta ni andrew e na alam
mo hanggang ngayon.. aminin?

-> humanap ka ng panget, alabang girls tska andrew ford medina (haha!=D jip jap ako e)

*laging lampin ang sinasapin sa likod mo pag
pinapawisan ka?

-> oo or hanky na galing sa SM..na may pictures ni ES and EM!:D

*bumibili ka ng tarzan, texas at bazooka bubble
gum... tira-tira, at yung kending bilog na
sinawsaw sa asukal?

-> hindi ko alam yung tira tira tska yung kending bilog..pero JOY alam niyo pa?yung parang may sipol?!
*takot ka dumating ang year 2000 dahil sabi nla
magugunaw daw ang mundo?

-> ay ako hindi..excited ako..kasi ibig sabihin nun mag 18 na ako!hahahha!!:D

KUNG ALAM MO LAHAT DITO LAGPAS KA NA NG 25 YEARS
OLD... KAPAG HALOS LAHAT ALAM MO, NASA 23-25 KA...

Life's checklist v.2

i have this old blog,

my life's checklist or the things to do before i die.

some stuff there are crazy, but some i have

fulfilled..

so now... i am updating my life's checklist.

deleting some stuff and adding new ones.

i hope i've inspired you to make one and

eventually share it with the world, maybe

you could find someone doing those things with.

-xoxo-

X watch all of the starwars movies in order

X introduce all my best friends to each other

X graduate culinary school

_ go to all of the Disneylands

_ live on my own

_ watch a live F1 race

_ work for Ferrari (in any way)

_ go to Sanrioland (japan)

_ have my own park avenue apartment

_ be a REAL mom (birth,foster or adoptive)

_ watch NBA live

_ watch WRESTLEMANIA or ROYAL RUMBLE (live)

_ give at least a million to my parents (no matter what currency)

_ a day of solitude

_ go to IBIZA

_ talk to a head of a country

_ have a major kick ass party

_ lose weight (like alot of it)

_ go to the OLYMPICS

_ have a vineyard or a coffee plantation or BOTH

_ have my own house here in the philippines with a rocking kitchen and

all the amenities i liked

_ have my own bar/restaurant/bed and breakfast

_ receive a heart shaped diamond ring or a pink sapphire

_ get a major award

_ meet in person MICHAEL SCHUMACHER, FELIPE MASSA, KIMI RAIKKONEN, BRET HART, SHAWN MICHAELS, HHH, OPRAH, JAY LENO, ELLEN DEGENERES, ANTHONY BOURDAIN, JAMIE OLIVER, HILLARY CLINTON, BARAK OBAMA, SARAH PALIN, TINA FAYE, WOLFGANG PUCK, MICHAEL JORDAN, KRIS AQUINO, BEYONCE, and PARIS HILTON

_ discover a star (heavenly body)

_ have my fairytale wedding by the beach (or the reception)

_ major family reunion

_ cook for all my friends and family

_ receive STARGAZERS

loving twilight

i barely read books, especially thick ones.

but when i liked a book, i won't stop 'til am done and then

i'll read it over and over again.

the little price, catcher in the rye and harry potter and the philosopher's stone

i've read them more than five times already and would love to read them again.

(i actually have the little prince and catcher in the rye ebooks so i could read

them again)

the ones i read and loved caught my attention

from the time i opened the first chapter.

when i find myself caught up into reading it,

(not really noticing the time and the hunger)

thats when i know that i'll finish this till the end.

it's very hard to entice me into reading books,

especially when there was a movie version

coming out.  i would always say

"why watch it if you could just see it?"

my imagination has been taken over by the

luxury of sitting comfortly on a chair,

while effortlessly watching someone else's

vision, turn into your notion of how the book was.

last night, i was bored out of my wits.

i asked my sister carmen what she was doing.

she wasn't really paying attention to me, 

busy listening to something.

i asked her what she was listening and she said

it was an audiobook version of Stephenie Meyer's Twilight.

hhmm..an audiobook, sounded interesting to me

since i couldn't find my glasses and someone reading it

to me would be great.

but it wasn't really complete.  i just asked her to buy a copy

and i'll just borrow it for her or something (yes am TOO cheap

to buy a copy of a really nice book).

that would probably take awhile though, when i've lost

my interest into reading it.  

i needed it right then and there....that moment.

i was franticly looking for it like a drug addict waiting

for a fix.

i searched the ebook sites, but i couldn't find a copy

of TWILIGHT anywhere, they had the other novels sure..

but that book was deleted from the site.

i checked out my favorite torrents sites

and to my luck, i saw a freshly uploaded

torrent of all four ebooks of the TWILIGHT SERIES.

i was really excited and downloaded it right away.

when it was complete, i hurriedly shared the copy

to my sister in return gave me the audiobooks.

i was so anxious in reading this that i totally

forgot all the videos i lined up for the night

(F1 crashes actually)

then i went on to reading the book...and yes...

the summary and the preface caught my attention

right away.

some say the audio for the audiobook didn't quite

fit the story, but for me it did the trick.

i started reading TWILIGHT at 1:00 am.

had an ice cream break till around 2.

then continued on to my reading, not really noticing

the time i saw the light from the outside shine

through our window..it was 5 am.

it felt like i've just been reading for minutes.

i tried to get a decent sleep, but something

woke me up at around 9. i decided to pick

up my laptop and continue with reading.

before i knew it it was almost 12 already.

am more than half way of the novel actually,

the audiobook has been a great help for me.

am  loving this novel alot that i can't

wait for the movie to be shown.

i didn't think  i'll like a novel like this

(since i hated buffy the vampire slayer), 

but am suprisingly loving this.

anyway, i'll get back to my reading.

more posts probably after i finish the book.

if you want to get the ebook, please leave me a comment.

i could send you the audiobook too.

what i do while the quali is on

this is how addicted i am to f1.

i am watching the qualifier right now for

the japanese grand prix.

and while am doing this...

this is what you'll see on my screen...

this is the live timing chart of the grand prix.

this is actually shown a second ahead of

the race in star sports.

thats all..

Rainy days are here again

I love the rain!!i really do!

Rain would always remind me of grade school..

how i would listen to the radio and here..

"WALANG PASOK NGAYON SA LAHAT NG ANTAS"

that would mean freedom and more sleep for me.

back then, the internet was just a fragment of

my imagination.  so more often than not,

you would see me playing with my family

computer (yes i had the red one) or at

a friend's house probably playing barbie or 

board games.

after lunch and before the "siesta" you

would see us dancing in the streets..

(minus the song), playing tag or just

goofing around.  the rain water was "CLEAN-ER"

me and my playmates would take our bikes,

skateboards or rollerblades and we would

run over the puddles and enjoy how the water

would splash on our faces.

high school was a different story.

no school means a trip to the mall.

for us KOSTKANS it was Robinsons Galleria.

we would be in our elephant pants, long back

shirts, loafers, small bags and over sized jackets.

holding our 5110s on one hand and a cigarette

on the other.

you would probably see us in SKY BOWL,

playing billards or bowling.

if sky bowl was full, it was a trip to GAME MASTERS

to play Daytona beating the guys asses.

when we're beat and hungry, you would 

more or less see us eating at Makati Skyline in the food court.

In college, no school mea

moving forward = gastos

taena...eto lang ayaw ko sa moving forward with life e.

daming dapat asikasuhin at dapat bilhin.

wala pa naman pambili.

sana pagnakahanap ka ng work...

i rereimburse nila yung ginastos mo sa pagapply mo no?

tapos yung pambili mo ng mga outfit.

ang food costs pati na rin ang mga pagpapaphotocopy.

dahil jan..

kailangan ko ng boots.

e ang boots mahina ang 3k.

pakers talaga!!!

tapos ang dami pang gastos

para sa papers and everything else.

taeng malupit talaga.

pangcommute at papicture.

wwwaaaaahhhhh!!!!!=(

penge pera!!!

it was just a dream...phew..

3:49 am...

putang ina..ang fucked up na talaga ng body clock ko.

wala siyang tamang pattern..minsan maaga, minsan late.

taena..hindi na ako tatablan ng jet lag nito. hahaha!!:D

parang araw araw naman na ako meron e.

anyway..hindi yan ang dahilan ng blog na itei..

i had the weirdest dream (siguro dahil sa gutom, puyat at for the heck of it).

the more i write it..the more i remember..so nagging detailed na siya.

setting: a certain school pero ang itsura niya ay rockwell/gateway/pre sabog gb2

cast: old classmates (iba ibang era of old classmates), a certain ex (itago nalang natin siya sa pangalan na "tom jones" [kung nanonood ng "the who" magegets eto]) and the police, media, swat at snipers.

story: nandun daw ako sa school along with a couple of classmates.  nakatambay daw kami sa lobby as usual nag yoyosi.  biglang dumating si tom jones na parang galit na galit sa mundo.  dinead ma ko lang siya kasi ano ba naman care ko sa world niya diba?! tapos naglabas ng mga sandata etong si tom jones.  tapos pinapasok lahat ng tao sa auditorium.

so dahil dun, nagtry ako magreason out sa kanya.  dun ko na siya biglang pinansin (o diba?nagprevail pa rin siya sa paggiging papansin niya).  hinila niya ako sa arm para pumasok sa auditorium.  i snuck sa likod para hindi niya ako makita.  umakyat siya sa stage at nagrant nalang about the world, sabay labas ng baril at granada.  tapos lumabas din ang kanyang mga acomplices na schoolmates ko din. (kaya pala lahat sila ay naka black nun).

nilock nila ang mga doors and threatened everybody na they won't hesitate to kill anybody.

so steady lang lahat ng tao, may umiiyak, nagdadasal, nagkukwentuhan, eto yung funny merong NAG POPOKER...(kamon mamon).

habang kausap ko ang isang friend ko na guy, lumapit si tom jones at hinila ulit ako sa arn.  inaaway niya ako at tinatanong niya kung sino etong guy na kausap ko.  sabi ko naman e friend ko.sabi niya "bakit ka kumakausap ng iba habang nandito ako?" (come on..needy parin siya diba?!) sabi ko (eto na ang mga mellow dramatic moments) "ano paki mo..ikaw ang na unang nang gago...kaya wala kang paki alam kung sinong kakausapin ko" sabay irap at walk out.  kaso lang nahawakan niya ako sa braso and tinutukan ng baril sabay sabi "basta.ayaw ko na may kausap ka..dito ka lang hindi ka lalayo".  so naging hostage pa lalo ako.

tapos naalala ko na may secret door sa auditorium (may ganung factor), binigyan ko ng signal si guy friend (naku hindi ko talaga siya kilala..kaya guy friend nalang) na sumunod sa akin in a pasimple way (parang prison break lang).  dahil madaming tao..madaling magblend in at to move un noticed. (magulo kasi may mga nakatayo at may mga nakaupo).  kinausap ko si tom jones..tinanong ko siya kung pwedeng dun muna ako sa mga girls kong friends...tapos nag agree siya...pasimple kami ni guy friend na pumasok sa secret door.  tapos ang kabilang side kasi nung guard house at nakatakbo kami.  nung nakakalayo na kami..narealize namin na yung mga phones namin e nasa auditorium.

naghanap kami ng phone at nagtawag ng police at media.  tapos sabay balik sa school.

pagpasok namin ang dami nang tao sa lobby.  police, media, swat, kamaganak, kapamilya, kapuso at mga usi.  nasa gitna kami ni guy friend ng lobby kasi iniinterview kami (nax).

pag tingala ako..nakita ko sa tom jones na nakatingin samin at nakatutok ang kanyang baril samin. (at mukang sniper gun kasi may red na ilaw).  hinila ko agad si guy friend to safety. sabi ko "delikado tayo dito...gusto niya tayong patayin".  

pinagkaguluhan kami ult ng mga tao.  tapos negotiate daw ang mga police kay tom jones tapos sabi niya makikipag usap lang siya pag

pumasok ako ulit sa auditorium.  at kung hindi ko gagawin un papatayin niya lahat ng tao sa loob.  so eto naman ako takot na takot. tapos pumasok ako ulit.  nagusap kami eto ang conversation..

tom jones: why did you rat me out?(english no?!)

cha: you have to be controlled..you can't do this.(nagsasalita while crying)

tom jones: but i already started it.  how could i end it?

cha: then give yourself up..it'll be much easier..you haven't killed anybody yet right?

tom: .....

cha: right?! 

tom: look at the stage

pag tingin ko sa stage...may 3 bangkay na nakahiga dun...at may mga taong sugatan.

for some reason..para akong nagulat at nagising.

tapos sabi ko talaga "tangina...he was going to kill me?"

triny ko ulit habulin yung dream..pero ayaw na e.

ibang dream na ung nahabol ko e.

hindi ko nga maintindihan yng dream na pangalawa e...

oh well..basta un na share ko sainyo yung dream ko about kay tom jones.

haaayy...

un lang...

labo no?!

it was just a dream..phew..

3:49 am...

putang ina..ang fucked up na talaga ng body clock ko.

wala siyang tamang pattern..minsan maaga, minsan late.

taena..hindi na ako tatablan ng jet lag nito. hahaha!!:D

parang araw araw naman na ako meron e.

anyway..hindi yan ang dahilan ng blog na itei..

i had the weirdest dream (siguro dahil sa gutom, puyat at for the heck of it).

the more i write it..the more i remember..so nagging detailed na siya.

setting: a certain school pero ang itsura niya ay rockwell/gateway/pre sabog gb2

cast: old classmates (iba ibang era of old classmates), a certain ex (itago nalang natin siya sa pangalan na "tom jones" [kung nanonood ng "the who" magegets eto]) and the police, media, swat at snipers.

story: nandun daw ako sa school along with a couple of classmates.  nakatambay daw kami sa lobby as usual nag yoyosi.  biglang dumating si tom jones na parang galit na galit sa mundo.  dinead ma ko lang siya kasi ano ba naman care ko sa world niya diba?! tapos naglabas ng mga sandata etong si tom jones.  tapos pinapasok lahat ng tao sa auditorium.

so dahil dun, nagtry ako magreason out sa kanya.  dun ko na siya biglang pinansin (o diba?nagprevail pa rin siya sa paggiging papansin niya).  hinila niya ako sa arm para pumasok sa auditorium.  i snuck sa likod para hindi niya ako makita.  umakyat siya sa stage at nagrant nalang about the world, sabay labas ng baril at granada.  tapos lumabas din ang kanyang mga acomplices na schoolmates ko din. (kaya pala lahat sila ay naka black nun).

nilock nila ang mga doors and threatened everybody na they won't hesitate to kill anybody.

so steady lang lahat ng tao, may umiiyak, nagdadasal, nagkukwentuhan, eto yung funny merong NAG POPOKER...(kamon mamon).

habang kausap ko ang isang friend ko na guy, lumapit si tom jones at hinila ulit ako sa arn.  inaaway niya ako at tinatanong niya kung sino etong guy na kausap ko.  sabi ko naman e friend ko.sabi niya "bakit ka kumakausap ng iba habang nandito ako?" (come on..needy parin siya diba?!) sabi ko (eto na ang mga mellow dramatic moments) "ano paki mo..ikaw ang na unang nang gago...kaya wala kang paki alam kung sinong kakausapin ko" sabay irap at walk out.  kaso lang nahawakan niya ako sa braso and tinutukan ng baril sabay sabi "basta.ayaw ko na may kausap ka..dito ka lang hindi ka lalayo".  so naging hostage pa lalo ako.

tapos naalala ko na may secret door sa auditorium (may ganung factor), binigyan ko ng signal si guy friend (naku hindi ko talaga siya kilala..kaya guy friend nalang) na sumunod sa akin in a pasimple way (parang prison break lang).  dahil madaming tao..madaling magblend in at to move un noticed. (magulo kasi may mga nakatayo at may mga nakaupo).  kinausap ko si tom jones..tinanong ko siya kung pwedeng dun muna ako sa mga girls kong friends...tapos nag agree siya...pasimple kami ni guy friend na pumasok sa secret door.  tapos ang kabilang side kasi nung guard house at nakatakbo kami.  nung nakakalayo na kami..narealize namin na yung mga phones namin e nasa auditorium.

naghanap kami ng phone at nagtawag ng police at media.  tapos sabay balik sa school.

pagpasok namin ang dami nang tao sa lobby.  police, media, swat, kamaganak, kapamilya, kapuso at mga usi.  nasa gitna kami ni guy friend ng lobby kasi iniinterview kami (nax).

pag tingala ako..nakita ko sa tom jones na nakatingin samin at nakatutok ang kanyang baril samin. (at mukang sniper gun kasi may red na ilaw).  hinila ko agad si guy friend to safety. sabi ko "delikado tayo dito...gusto niya tayong patayin".  

pinagkaguluhan kami ult ng mga tao.  tapos negotiate daw ang mga police kay tom jones tapos sabi niya makikipag usap lang siya pag

pumasok ako ulit sa auditorium.  at kung hindi ko gagawin un papatayin niya lahat ng tao sa loob.  so eto naman ako takot na takot. tapos pumasok ako ulit.  nagusap kami eto ang conversation..

tom jones: why did you rat me out?(english no?!)

cha: you have to be controlled..you can't do this.(nagsasalita while crying)

tom jones: but i already started it.  how could i end it?

cha: then give yourself up..it'll be much easier..you haven't killed anybody yet right?

tom: .....

cha: right?! 

tom: look at the stage

pag tingin ko sa stage...may 3 bangkay na nakahiga dun...at may mga taong sugatan.

for some reason..para akong nagulat at nagising.

tapos sabi ko talaga "tangina...he was going to kill me?"

triny ko ulit habulin yung dream..pero ayaw na e.

ibang dream na ung nahabol ko e.

hindi ko nga maintindihan yng dream na pangalawa e...

oh well..basta un na share ko sainyo yung dream ko about kay tom jones.

haaayy...

un lang...

labo no?!

glimmer of hope...i love it

a total 360 from my ranting mode..

i FINALLY got the approval i was looking for.

and this MIGHT BE the start of something good!!

my efforts are paying off...am going to do this!

i've actually been busy with preparing myself

before i move on in life..

alam ko mejo puzzling ang words..

but in time you guys will understand.

i don't really want to disclose details

before am sure..

basta...for now am happy that i am being supported.

putangina...this is FUCKING IT!!!

my foot is on the door...

can't wait to go ALL IN!!!whaahhah!!:)

see yah!=X

ranting mode

am taking a breather from my maniacle plans of world destruction (for one person that is)

to this crappy day am having.

it's was supposed to be ONE of the biggest moments in my life..

but it was no supported by the people who i am doing this for.

i was shut down, crushed and dishearted.

i so want to cry and to shout...but i couldn't

this effin house doesn't have privacy.

tangina..i thought i was having a good week...but fuck this..

this was it e...this was my treshold e...eto na un e.

this was the opportunity of a new life that i was waiting for.

but NNNOOOOO......tangina...mukang malabo na eto.

i don't think i'll be able to find my OWN means and ways..

tangina...ginawa ko na.  pero hindi e...wala ako nun e.

plus i have to consider how they feel...how they'll

take it..

tangina diba?! huli lagi sarili ko..sila muna.

i just hope that all the sacrifices i've made

would be paid in the future..tangina..

kung hindi..then..putang ina am fucked!!